


late comfort | changki

by kihdimple



Category: Monsta X ; Monbebe
Genre: BoyxBoy, Caring, Comfort, Cute, Depression, Fluff, Fluffy, Hurt/Comfort, Ick, Love, M/M, Nightmare, Oneshot, Sad(?), Support, changki, idk how this works, im soft, kikyun, membership, monsta x - Freeform, soft, ykh, yoo kihyun | im changkyun
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-03
Updated: 2020-03-03
Packaged: 2021-02-23 05:48:23
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,474
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23006695
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kihdimple/pseuds/kihdimple
Summary: changkyun suffers from nightmares, including events of his past. kihyun always tries to comfort him, even if it’s in the middle of the night.
Relationships: Im Changkyun | Yoo Kihyun
Comments: 2
Kudos: 46
Collections: changki





	late comfort | changki

**Author's Note:**

> a changki oneshot because im soft.  
> hope you like it!  
> enjoyy<33

It happened plenty of times before.  
Kihyun waking up, hearing Changkyun get up in the middle of the night. Hearing Changkyun breathe heavily, after waking up.  
Or just Kihyun being worried, when he saw Changkyun wake up roughly in the van, even sometimes after resting before a performance in the backstage rooms.  
He never asked him about it before, since he didn't want to make him feel uncomfortable, but there always was this bad feeling in his tummy, his concern about the younger wouldn’t go away.

Changkyun always was very exhausted.  
His eyes seemingly heavy to keep open, deep eye bags darkening his facial expressions and falling asleep immediately, when they finally had some time to rest.

Kihyun knew that Changkyun dealt with nightmares, but it was never that bad, like in the night when he confronted him about it.

It was the very first time when Kihyun noticed that Changkyun actually kept all his problems, his worries, his concerns and thoughts to himself was, when the older woke up to the noise of soft sobs right next to him.  
It was Changkyun crying.

He had a nightmare that really affected him. The times when he suffered from depression, self harm and bad thoughts haunted him up until this day.  
Just like in that dream.  
That one night, it was a really bad nightmare, one he had way too often. Kind of like a cycle.

[nightmare]

He was in a dark room. There was nothing other than a clock ticking and voices echoing through the seemingly big room. 

Changkyun couldn't move, it was like he was bound to a chair standing in the middle of all the darkness, even though there wasn't anything like a rope that could've been tightened around his body.  
The ticking got louder and louder and the voices screamed at him. They were telling him, that he was worthless.

That he was nothing.

He was all alone, that no one cared about him.

All his hyungs, family, friends and fans were just pretending. The voices told him to disappear. He wouldn't be missed by anyone.

Memories, bad memories, were played in front of him. Especially memories from the survival show called "No. Mercy". When he was hated by everyone.

They all made him blame himself again, that Gunhee and Seokwon couldn't debut, because of him, even though Changkyun knew exactly that it wasn't his fault.

The voices wanted him to kill himself, to hurt himself...they told it over and over again.

He should be gone. No one cares. No one loved him. No one needed him. No one was honest. They all lied. He's useless.

He was unwanted...  
Just an unnecessary burden. He was just bothering everyone. They said he was untalented. His rap was terrible, he couldn't dance. He was ugly, disgusting. 

He was a disappointment. He was pathetic...

All that went on for so long, it felt like an eternity to him. It was terrible. He cried so much, but couldn't move from that chair. He had to endure it all.

Suddenly, all the voices went quiet. The ticking went on, but now it just got even louder and louder, until it stopped abruptly as well. It was complete silence.

Then, there appeared a voice, somewhere far away in the darkness. The voice was laughing, and fast to approach him. Suddenly it was right next to him and all he heard was a giggle. He felt a cold shiver running down his spine. He still couldn't see anything but darkness.

"You should wake up... Changkyunie."  
Was all the voice said.

[nightmare end]

When he woke up, he was sweating a lot and breathing roughly.  
He couldn't help it and just started crying.  
Changkyun was so scared...  
Since he had to deal with such a bad state of mental health before, he believed all that, what the voices said. He believed it, but tried his best not to do so. He knew that his hyungs loved him, his family and friends. Monbebe loved him.  
He knew that.

He tried so hard, but it sounded so familiar... so true.

He couldn't stop crying, but because it was late at night, he was afraid of waking up his hyungs, Jooheon and Minhyuk.  
But especially Kihyun. He seemed really exhausted the day before. He was a light sleeper, just like Changkyun himself, so he had to be really quiet.  
He did feel bad though.  
They went to sleep quite late and had to get up early.  
Around 6-ish or so.  
And Changkyun knew exactly like everyone else, that he needed rest. Lots of it.

When Kihyun first woke up that night, he didn't realize it immediately, but after Changkyun kept crying, sniffing and taking deep, shaky and heavy breaths in and out, he knew.  
He lifted his head a bit to have a better listen to the sounds and looked to his right side, trying to recognize the surroundings in the spare light, coming from the window.

"Kyun?"  
Kihyun softly asked, getting his attention. The crying stopped immediately and Kihyun heard bed sheets rustling. Changkyun hid under his blanket, trying to shush his sobs.

"Kyunie, what's wrong?"  
He asked again, now more worriedly but his voice yet so gentle and caring.

No answer.

"Changkyun, baby, please talk to me... if not i'll come over."   
All Kihyun heard after that were the younger's soft sobs again. That was enough.

Kihyun sat up, crawled to the end of his bed and to the ladder, slowly climbing it down, not to wake up Jooheon, who was sleeping below him.  
Some seconds later, he carefully tapped across the small room, his soft steps filling the silence, just to climb up the ladder of Changkyun's bed right after.

As he approached the maknae, who was still hiding under his sheets, he carefully came up next to him, careful not to hurt the smaller boy, since it was dark and he couldn't see where exactly the younger was laying.

Kihyun lifted the blanket and sneaked under, welcoming the feeling of warmth that was saved around the smaller boy.

"Kyun, now tell me. What's going on?"  
He said as he hugged the maknae tightly, pulling him closer until Changkyun's arms were wrapped around his waist, hugging him back.

"Nothing, hyung. I'm okay."  
He sniffled.

"Kyunie, you're crying. You're not okay. You can tell me, you know that right? Everything. Did you have bad dreams? Do you not feel well? Does something hurt?"  
Kihyun sounded so worried, but also wholeheartedly caring.  
And god, he cared so much about his baby.

"I don't want to talk about it...i'm sorry, hyung. Also that i woke you up... Don't worry, it's okay. Can we go back to sleep now?"  
Changkyun stopped crying by now, but kept sniffling.

Kihyun sighed, he sounded a bit disappointed, what led Changkyun to squint his sore eyes following the wave of guilt through his body.

"Alright baby, just know that i'm always here for you, if you ever want to tell me something. I'll listen, alright? Remember that for me."

"Y-yes. Thank you, hyung." 

"Now try and go back to sleep, Kyunie. It's okay, i'm here now. And i won’t leave. I got you. I love you, baby."  
Kihyun said, tightening the grip around the younger boy.

"I love you too. Night, Kihyun..."  
Was all that Changkyun said, trying not to worry Kihyun even more.

That night, quite soon, Kihyun fell asleep again. He was really tired, considering the long practice the day before. But Changkyun stayed up.  
By the time his hyung was deep asleep again and soft snores, coming from Kihyun, filled the terribly silent room.  
Changkyun tried his very best, not to start crying again, thinking of the nightmare he had and suppressing all the bad thoughts, that wouldn't leave his mind now.  
He was shaking, fiddling with the hem of Kihyun's oversized shirt and hugging him tightly, tears already starting to build up again in his tired eyes.

There was one point, when the older stirred in his sleep and started stroking Changkyun's soft, curled bangs. The younger smiled weakly at the touch.  
Kihyun was still sound asleep.   
Maybe he just felt that Changkyun needed his comfort...

But either way, the younger couldn't fall asleep again. He was scared, anxious although he felt safe in Kihyun's arms. He only kept listening to his hyung's regular breathing and rhythmic heartbeat throughout the night, thinking what he would be doing, if he hadn't had him.  
Hell, Changkyun would be so screwed if he hadn’t had his hyungs. 

It was calming, yes, but his nightmares would never get out of his head.  
The thoughts wouldn't go away.  
It would always stay the same, but he promised himself that he would not let his hyungs know.  
Never...

Why would he want to bother them like that?

**Author's Note:**

> thank you for reading!  
> feel free to comment and vote, i’d appreciate it a lot<3


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